Everything Wrong With Star Trek: The Motion Picture

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Once upon a time, Paramount made a Star Trek movie that, while true to the Trek spirit, was also boring as f*ck. Here are that movie’s sins.

Thursday: Staying in space.

Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie’s sins should we expose next?!

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Comments

Terry G says:

I'll never understand why this couldn't have been the basis for the Borg planet.

ANGRY ASS AARON says:

Came here thinking I'd see film production flaws. Tapped out halfway through when I realized this was a half-attempt at mockery from a 13-year-old minded "smartass" mentality that needs CGI and plotpoints from an XBOX game to be "entertained". And if it wasn't, well, he justifiably should be ashamed of himself anyway. This is embarrassing, and would be pulled/deleted by anyone that would be slightly above being a professional "Vine Video" fart clip connoisseur. If you couldn't come up with anything better than "I yap fast, and this movie's old, blaaah", I suggest you delve into 1940's era films, and follow through the 1970's and on, until you either get it, or quit reviewing movies. Try a few late '20's silent movies while you're at it. Maybe, read a few books. Learn how "movies" are best when they are adapting a "story" into "live action". Appreciate that storytelling isn't about the "kickass efffffeeeeccctsss", but the characters and the storyline of what they are facing, and doing. That is why some people can watch a movie from 1958, and be totally enamored by it, while some other, ahem, "person", will laugh, scoff, be bored and immaturely mock it. Shame on them. People work really hard to make even BAD movies, so when it was a culmination that resulted in a "GOOD" movie, it is so infuriating to see someone be so numb-minded and pass all that off as crap, because it's "old, funny looking, weird, TOTALLY LOOKS FAKE". A good reviewer would understand everything from a musical, to a slasher flick. Judging from your other reviews, you understand clickbait, and nothing much about ANY films in general, including the bad ones. I'm being extra nice, wouldn't want to upset you. I'm number 901 on the "dislike" counter, for your reference. And I know that it does not matter at all. Really, all I wanted to say was that this video sucks. I hope you have bad diarrhea soon, preferably during a sexual encounter. Then, you read a few books, watch a few classic movies, and come back strong as a good youtube-movie-commenter-person. See that? Even in my attacks, i'm rooting for you to be better.

clorox bleach unboxed says:

AND ITS NOT CAMERAS TO THE BRIDGE ITS A GLASS THING

clorox bleach unboxed says:

AND ITS CALLED SENSORS YOU SHIT HEAD

clorox bleach unboxed says:

YOU LITTLE STAR TREK RACIST SHIT THE FUCKING MILEMIUM FALCON IS SHIT STAR TREK FOR LIFE BITCH

DelphiTheDolphin says:

Hm, was it intentional that the last sentence was the same one, just from a different movie? (StarTrek VI I guess?)

QuasiTraction says:

? I'm dying…

jpdemer5 says:

This really was like a 30-minute TOS episode, s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d o-u-t to movie length.

colin Paterson says:

I remember watching this when it was released in the UK (1980) and was amazed by all the effects and well everything in it. Now almost 40 years later it is all so dated.

65olsen says:

It appears to me critic is not a trek fan.  If you are analyzing a star trek movie/show then you should be aware of its background.  Also paramount was in a rush to get this movie out after star wars came out and did not give Robert wise and producers time to adequately polish and fine tune it.  Also part of appeal of star trek show is the ship.  The Enterprise is the centerpiece of the movie, and with the refit deserves the screen time she got.  Especially in my opinion with taking a good design from original series and making it even better.  There should be no sins taken off for the time taken for exterior shots of enterprise.  The directors cut release of TMP does flow better and improves the visuals especially that crappy matt painting used when kirk and company leave ship to see V'Ger.  Never understood how such an impressive visual film let that matt painting be used proportions on it are soooooo bad.

Rick Johnson says:

"Oath of Promiscuity" had me laughing for at least an hour. Very funny.

confusedbutok says:

Victory fart!!!! Mega lols

Christian Woelfert says:

By pure accident I realized there are questions and comments risen regarding the original Star Trek movies and series. Of course every discussion is welcome and every thought is taken into account whatsoever. Beside and beyond questions and ideas the universal idea and message and idea is there to stay and not subject to any questioning whatsoever. I am not dead Jim!

Dan Cole says:

I'm sure it's been mentioned before as this is an extremely old post, but that crack about Robert Wise is extremely unfair. He also directed THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL; RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP, THE SAND PEBBLES, & THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN as well as dozens of films in almost every genre. I highly recommend the aforementioned THE SAND PEBBLES (one of my all time favorite films) & an overlooked film noir/heist movie from 1959 called ODDS AGAINST TOMORROW starring Harry Belafonte & Robert Ryan. I guarantee that any of these films will make you forget WEST SIDE STORY & THE SOUND OF MUSIC.Though both of those are very well crafted, extremely entertaining (if annoyingly overhyped) films. Oh, & Wise also edited a minor, forgotten little gem called CITIZEN KANE. So… there!

Dean Kay says:

whose spock talking to? you ignoring that he started a personal log before he entered the alien ship?

S Lee-Smith says:

wtf has cinema sins….fkin trolls

Jake The T says:

I HAD to stop when you idiots called out Robert Wise as a sin of the movie. Like, I get it's a joke, but Robert Wise is the dude who directed the original The Day the Earth Stood Still. Dummies.

Son Of Cherve says:

still the best star trek film.

BSGT2TREKFAN88 says:

Im sorry Jeremy but if you show someone…ANYONE a silhouette of the Enterprise or the Falcon….you bet your ASS they will know the shape of the good old Enterprise over the Falcon any day of the week!

Herpaderpaslurp says:

I saw this movie with my mom when I was 7. I remember crying about halfway through because I was so bored.

This "movie" was originally a one hour pilot for a new series, Star Trek Phase II, but when Paramount decided to drop it's attempt to start a 4th network (yes, imagine UPN in the 70's!) they turned it into a movie. That's why it seems so stretched.

oZo61 says:

NOT AS COOL AS THE MILLENNIUM FALCON???!!! F@@k you!

Tim Perry says:

My biggest dig on all these space movies is interspecies breeding. Species that have evolved together on planet earth have incompatible chromosomes and are unable to reproduce with each other; but two species that evolved on completely different planets manage to have compatible DNA?

Deinonuchus says:

Holy mother of pearl, that movie was a pile of shit.

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